aginggracefully2

Just to document a weird happening that occurred tonight as I wrote last page, the electricity in my studio flickered three times at 10:30pm EST, USA, shutting down my computer as I was finishing the previous lines. I was home alone and got pretty scared. I thought I had lost all I had written about the powers of the universe and I still have no memory if I had saved or not before the electricity failure. But when I restarted the PC all data was there and I received a tremendous warm-like fluid of internal “current” that made me rub my arms a couple of times before I dared to return to write more about the powers of the universe. I am not a spiritual medium or nothing similar but this definitely was felt as a message. What message? I don’t know. It is 1:46am and I am still feeling those warm fluids coming from nowhere and it is 80F in here. They say warm fluids come from good spirits and cold fluids from the bad ones. All done.

I am sorry I took so long to learn and believe. Blessed are those who can believe without having to see. I missed school that day and I still need to understand what I am going to believe or I simply will reject the matter until a better moment. No understanding, no any better moments for me. Sorry but true. The great scriptures say that no soul must be taken by force. There is also the probability that “those forces” could come from within ourselves as we have the power to create all we can “see”, even if we only see internally within our mind. As a matter of fact, all we can see around us was at one time deep inside the mind of someone, (in a still inexistent form, vague ideas, or unspoken apprehensions) who then decided to make (materialize) “it” real. “That” person visualized the “thing” and by constant effort, trials and errors finally produced what was before just an idea. In the same train of thoughts, those forces could exist and affect us by putting shit in our front line memory systems. Old people called that happening a possession or temptation. New age people call that bullshit or “el toro caca”. They all try to evade the main fact that we all do have constant ideas pumping out through our conscious 24/7 like if we were victims of a great monster of sorts. I cannot evade the issue because I was a great sufferer of mental shit for too long before I took command of my life. I started to shuffle my own deck of cards and created my own set of “spirits” and “mental assistants”. After many years navigating the many trails and high waters searching for “Mental Freedom” I have come to realize that all those “things” are “programs” in auto run mode. The uncertain shall prevail in this constant universe. That is one of the many things that make a constant.

Ahhh, the uncertainty attracts more people than the boring certain.

That is the attraction of computer and television games.

That is also part of the attraction of using alcohol, drugs or sex to ‘forget”, at least temporarily, our “agonies of the mind”.

We just seem like “someone else”, anything but ourselves, to tell us what to do next. What to do next is the greatest agony for all human beings. Decision-making always sucks. There is no way to know beforehand if we are deciding right or wrong. It becomes like trying to forecast the weather or visiting Madam Voodoo. We might have an idea of an outcome, but never a certainty of the future. This is a left over mental program from childhood when we had to be programmed as powerless in order to please mom or dad, the teachers, or the elders.

What We Learn We Cannot Unlearn .

I don’t like the words “cannot or never or impossible” but for human body design purposes I must agree or incur in mechanical negligence. Mechanical negligence in any field is too heavily fined for me to bypass applicable rules and established operation manuals. If I overload the wings of my airplane, I am gambling with destiny and at an altitude of 24,000 feet this is not a too intelligent choice to take. If I overload my mind while landing my airplane or while navigating in rough weather I also neglect some simple rules of the road. But flashbacks will always show up at the worst times. I must be prepared for those memories coming impromptu pumping shit to my conscious while I need to be concentrated the most. Those memories are just loose data bits gathered by the front line memory (ram-module or conscious) at unexpected searches for “other” seemly related information recorded all over the brain mass. There is nothing we can do to erase those bad memories. Drinking, drugging, or unregulated sexing, will only temporarily “put to sleep” our mind. Please don’t do it while driving, boating or flying or while taking a test for a job opening. But there are things we can do as soon as those flashbacks appear out of nowhere.

What can we do?

Simple.

We think in something else, immediately as “they” show up.

We use the very same system that brought the flashback in the first place. This is the best way to combat rogue memories. With this method I can stop a tsunami wave coming into my mind during a job interview. Years ago, in full daylight, in my mind, of course, I “vividly saw” (in full colors) the glory and splendor of the second coming with all the angels and cast during a business presentation of a project to a big firm client. It all happened like in a flash, in a few seconds, and was only “visually felt” deep “inside’ my mind. But it looked better than watching the vision through a blockbusters panoramic screen billboard-size monitor. The business presentation I had to give was a simple commercial to sell lobsters and had nothing to do with the apocalypses. I had a thousand margaritas the night before and had noticed myself with a light hangover but nothing major (to me). My moral and fear memory modules were still asleep and I thought I was on top of the world when in reality I was in deep shit that day.

Why did I have all those drinks the night before? I drank to put fear to sleep for a while. I always had a fear of people. I used to think that people was always judging me like my parents used to do and because of a few misdoings during my younger innocence years I felt I was guilty of the worst and needed to be condemned forever and ever amen. I used to think that drinking “dissolved” those memories. As a matter of fact, drinking actually stops the mental shit pumping for a while. But those flashbacks don’t go away forever, I learned afterwards. They resuscitate and haunt us with no mercy for our impoverished mental systems. Sometimes I think they are unresolved issues claiming attention. But I am nowhere close to be able to fight them back. Instead, I will work with whatever tools I have left on me after years of mental wars with the unreal and maybe even the inexistent. No more bullshit; system… let’s work together now.

It works! Cool!

We might think we forget things but “bad memories” will always be there, “good memories” will also be there, waiting, ready to come out, sometimes at the wrong time and place. We drink, drug, and do sex, to forget, but only we put anesthesia in our brains, relaxing the conscious Drinks, drugs, and sex cause our entire system to relax. The effect is a flushed mind. This is Basic Cause and Effect 101. This is the only reason people drink and do drugs and unregulated sex. When they ask people why they drink, they sometimes cannot tell because all this cause and effect reactions happen at very deep levels of our automatic operating systems. How do I know this is true? I am a also musician and happen to use both conscious and subconscious at the same time to be able to compose music for my fourteen recordings already on the market or to play those never written long jazz solos that seem to come out of no where but in reality they come from long years of burning data (rehearsals) into my mental drives through my sensory systems (video, audio, smell, touch) and disciplining my conscious front line memory (ram-mind) to do fast searches like the laser needle of a computer hard drive has to do to read your mp3’s and digital video. I compare my front line memory interface to my computer’s monitor. But the action is happening at deeper levels, such as the RAM chips of any decent PC. The more RAM the more different programs a computer can run at the same time. My mind works just in the same way. I can increase the RAM for my computer. But I only have a finite amount of ram-mind. Maybe with a brain transplant I can increase my ram-mind. Double head casings, cool, but by now, I must content to use what I have. One day we will be able to network brains. That day we will be able to access things never thought possible. This is done by telepathy, the way sharks communicate with each other. They broadcast messages through a lateral line of transceivers and receive via the same. We do have some transmission power but this is still on the research rooms. We need to find the exact frequencies and voila! No more line or cable telephone bills. Think and I shall listen, will be the future of communications. Repeater antennas will be needed to relay data sent by thinkers all over the world. I better stop this shit; it’s getting me nervous. Let’s go back to our actual published system of doing things.

The conscious is king of our perceived reality. When we go to sleep all reality flushes out and we enter a mode of self-restoration. Sometimes we can “see” or mentally visualize data roaming its way out of the mentalsphere and we call that data: dreams. If the dreams become ugly we call them nightmares. Daydreaming happens when ram-mind roams freely during lapses in concentration or sporadic relaxations of the mind.

We like to relax the mind because it gives us a good feeling for a while. I used to do that in school and drove my teachers crazy, especially at boring classes when I had the feeling the teacher had not prepared to give a whole hour of bullshit. My mind used to roam through all those places I liked to go or even those I had only visited in movies or pictures or stories I had heard. See? Sensory systems retain things we will need in the future. This is called providence in some religions. I don’t know if the negative gods (demons) use the same method in reverse to bring flashbacks many years later in life. Anyway, gods and demons were never my favorite intellectual subjects so I will go ahead and leave that for the theologians to work around. They are having a hard time themselves trying to explain the unexplainable and they don’t need any more interference from self help writers to further complicate their lives. The Dogma shall prevail, they say. While that might sedate some congregations for a few centuries and it seems to be sort of working out for them… I want the truth and nothing else. The truth has no need to hide in dogmatic forms. Why? Because all other things I have tried for years don’t work as expected for me. That is the simplest why.

For as long as I have an overloaded ram-mind, meaning a jammed up conscious fore-interface (ideas monitor), I seem to take longer to be able to visualize the goals I need to accomplish. Sometimes those half ideas don’t materialize at all.

Until we “see” the ‘complete” goals from start to finished, not only as possible, but also as already accomplished and working and savor the pleasure of the accomplishment, they will take much longer to materialize.

Ask any music composer if he or she can finish a complete song during a mental bottleneck or breakdown. Maybe some great composers can but at too high a price. It all becomes then extremely tense and mentally painful, taking a toll on physical resources. Only the highest order of minds can work properly during times of high mental overloads. Normal minds can handle up to 4 different things at the same time in meditation but even that can drive you crazy in a work or home environment where undivided attention to details are imperative and of first order.

I can only handle very few things at a time and it bothers me a lot when I am trying to write or compose music in my piano and someone close to me is calling my attention without asking first if my mind is available for bullshit. In those cases my mind just shuts down and don’t want to talk to me until I seek refuge. Of course that I happen to know about mental time-sharing but sometimes it gets out of hand and rest or distraction must follow or we get pretty much confused and disoriented for a while.

The reverse is also true; most constantly visualized ideas materialize. It becomes then only a matter of time. How long? Again and again, the same amount of time it takes for a rose to bloom. This is nature’s call and not ours. Visualizing into “Faith/Results” has no due time.

I must find ways to flush data from a congested ram-mind condition and I must be able to do it constantly, at will.

The conscious mind flushes data when relaxed because less data processing is needed while at rest. Remember; there is no big dinosaur close enough to hurt us while in the warmth and comfort of our cave or condo. The body relaxes and the mind relaxes as well. Remember the beauty sleep, or the siesta (day-nap) principle? This is part of our automatic system. Our body gets more available data processing power when at rest and it uses those extra process powers to restore our body and backup what it can. Increasing rest times improve the quality of all general body restoration processes. The conscious mind feels like it is burning up when overworked for long periods of time, above design limits. Our mind is designed like that so we don’t expectedly or unexpectedly crash our systems during times of emergency, when we must remain alert in order to protect others and ourselves during this trip through time and space called our life span in Earth. It would be bad and expensive to forget to stop our car at red lights. Would it be good if we could forget all the bad things we did in the past? Yes it would be very good if we could. But we can’t. Those things in memory, especially deep rooted guilt feelings will always be there even if we manage to “forgive” ourselves or gain enough mercy from “the above” to do it for us. By the way, while at prayer to forgive us, the mind must “burn” and imprint those “I forgive myself” data commands on the brain, with instructions to auto run when triggered by any negative memory event from the past. This can only happen after continued repetition of the command together with the request. We must do the same thing in order to memorize a new song or poem. For every new song or desire we pray for, we must employ the method of constant repetition until our mind burns in the data commands needed to auto playback the complete file. How long do we must repeat the same thing over and over until it “sinks” into the sub archives of the permanent mind?

The same amount of time it takes for a rose to bloom. Patience is not an option here. It is a rule. The variable has no definite.

We will only know if something was already recorded in permanent memory by trying to remember that memory and waiting to see if we get it back completely, from start to end. Then, whatever thing may it might be, sometimes materialize like magic. Professional musicians and composers like to keep “practicing” after they already know data is permanently stored (recorded) in the brain, in order to better “fix” the complete idea for more efficient and smoother “playbacks”. Medical students must repeat incessantly everything it is written about the healing arts until they “sink” in most relevant data about the medicine field. Aviation students must read and re-read all matters and procedures the flight of an airplane before they can make their first “solo” flight. After that, aviation pilots must practice again and again touch and go take offs and landings until all “data” sinks inside their brains and each procedure comes out almost automatically thereafter, otherwise they will not be able to pass the strict aviation licensing tests.

A movie actor or actress will have to repeat over and over the assigned script until they can “feel” and act like the fictitious character they will impersonate. Can we all do the same thing?

Sometimes it takes a whole lifetime to “embed” an idea for a behavioral change, one of the hardest things to do in life.

The mind is a constantly variable thing and must be computed as such. There are huge volumes written on this field.

Electroshocks were given years ago to severely suffering mental patients with hopes to “erase” mental shit from their violent brains. The same “spirits” or impulses returned some time afterwards to the now electrocuted system aggravating the patient’s circumstances. Electroshocks brought the same results as a roller coaster ride; they forced the patient to distract or take the mind away from a persistent idea temporarily causing the poor soul to “forget” things that were causing disturbances. What a way to distract the mind. I do that by watching a sunset.

Sometimes we create “internal personalities” so we can manipulate their behavior and consultancy outcomes. Is this sick or what? It may be sick but we do it day by day. It is even legal to do so. Some people create gods in their own image so they can control those gods to their own benefit. It is better for some people to trust “someone else” even if that someone else is a non-existing being because they don’t trust themselves. Non-existing beings become existent in the minds of their creators (Read: voodoo and other mystic arts). People who now create internal personalities most probably were taught by their families since childhood to better trust “big” people and distrust their own feelings because they were too young to know the things of life. What a total bullshit. This is a standard child rising method still employed in most countries around the world. Parents sometimes forget that human beings remain thinking like children even after reaching adulthood. Maybe those parents were victims of other victims perpetuating a chain of events now very hard but not impossible to break.

Another reason to make brain residing gods…

Another reason we make brain residing gods and other internal consultants seems to be able to have two or more simultaneous versions of the same idea in real time and also to be able to compare between our own ideas and those from our internal consultants. The problem arises if different gods and consultants present different ideas and visualizations at the same time. This will bring confusion to our minds.

I would give all I had to have the power to be able to manipulate real gods. It is always more comfortable to trust some else, heh? Be the Ego, Super Ego, It… your choice, to search for, compile, and “present” a stream of copies, and yes, they must be only copies of our permanent data bits to our “front line RAM memory”, which in turn can use some kind of idea/memory visualization module (mind monitor?), so we can “mentally compare” two or more different versions of the same “files” and then feel comfortable to take better choices according to our perceptions of what is best to use or not to use, to present externally, or to hide.

Not intending to repeat myself, but for sure, we created those internal “personalities” in order for us to “feel assured” that we have internal “intelligent servants” (and yes, they are) that can help us to think properly (never feel alone again), who can work much like our familiar computer “browsers”, “search engines”, and “visual interfaces”, presenting data stored in “real time streaming servers” (modules) as requested by a client computer (me).

If you think someone on crack told me all these things about the mind, let me remind you of the fabulous airplane 747. That big bird has three computers, much like our ego, super ego and it. One computer does the expected. The second one watches what the first one does and the third one decides if to shut any of the first two in case one or any of two goes crazy. This can be done with only one computer (like in our case) with three different programs installed. But is better to have three “doctors” watching a patient to get three different points of view. It might be also better to have three lawyers sometimes, three mechanics, and three spirits but also three wives? I don’t know. If any on the trio starts to gets overly crazy all three components must be shut off and sent to the repair shop at least until all functions return to normal operating ranges.

Variety is the spice of life even in a constant universe.

The 666, the Profiler uses the Internet

I happen to be a humble ex-aviation pilot with commercial and multiengine ratings and licensed by the Federal Aviation Administration since the days the

Ground Speed Indicator or Radar Altimeter had no been invented yet.

We had to compute everything by hand with a $16.00 sliding ruler called a Logarithmic Flight Computer, in real time and with no sweat at all. The Transponders were still in the drawing board and Radio Navigation was for only for rainy days.

I have been in the Internet since it was black and white. Well… it still is. The Internet still transports via all the global wires in binary signals and what brings out colors and dynamic elements are software programs.

A type of “earthly god” compares with all the computers in the world interconnected together to form a network of networks. This powerful global “Profiler” appeared in the Bible thousands of years ago as the 666. Some machines “hooked” to the global mesh (cloud) of interconnected computers, “profile”, “acquire”, “collect”, “gather”, and “disseminate” data about all things in the known universe.

Some computers now even attempt to “simulate” the unknown in order to better understand it.

The 666, the Profiler, the Internet, brand me already.

There is not much I can do now. I am profiled as many others.

The 666, the Profiler, The Accuser, is the District Attorney of Hell. Even the Presidents of All The Great Nations are profiled and branded by their own destinies. Ministers, Priests, Rabbis, Grand Lamas, Witch Doctors and Madame Voodoo all fell like suckers into the giant databases that comprises the final branding of all that exists.

Of course, in diplomatic politics this final inventory of all that exists can also be called The Grand Census. They can even call this The Book of Life because that name is not copyright as of yesterday, but I would not try that. It belongs to someone else I don’t want to mess around with. As for the global profiling concerns, this is also the final sucker fall for mankind’s privacy rights.

But hey, what do we have to hide? We are all celebrities now.

Well sort of… correctional institution inmates are profiled in much of a similar way.

“They” (profilers) celebrate and feast on our soul, body, spirit, and mind. The intention is to keep track of all dissidents just in case it becomes possible to terminate them. Majority groups perform like a school of fish, and follow the leaders no matter if they are running aground. (Reference: Jesus trials) It is not only for intellectuals to compile, understand and disseminate the truth. We can all do it according to our perception of reality.

The truth, the truth… what is the truth? (Poncio Pilatos)

We all profiled by now, for better or worst. We must learn to live with it. This thing came too fast and enticing for all. The main organizers and early Internet thinkers used our instincts to sell the idea that computers were friendly, stupid, and manageable by manipulation. Chat lines provided an oasis for loneliness and to relieve those desperate feelings of desolation a divorce or a sudden family change or abandonment produce in some of us. We all went to the stores and became instant followers of the computer cult. We abandoned all logical reasoning and previous religious training about keeping freedom of spirit, mind, and soul. Computer games became our passion, killing and maiming human looking contenders right in our family living rooms all over the world. We felt powerful at last! Our most weak and coward family members were now space gladiators. Mom’s alerts to come to the table for diner now could be challenged with instant talkbacks from us; brave commanders from hell.

E-mails were better than telephone to exchange infidelity (then, not now).

Porno arrived at a time we were all looking for fun, distractions from our boredom, love, attention, care, but instead we were forced at giving our souls (profiles/self/privacy/etc.) in exchange. As a matter of fact, Porn helped to increase the already gigantic movement of the first waves of computer purchases. Grandma can now chat freely with handsome guys from all over the world… The kids can do their own cooking.

We are all profiled already, buddy; there’s no way back.

Well, some are not braded yet. There are some people that do not use computers and who haven’t searched for Internet porno.

I must use the computer now for the best of humanity.

My numbers are everywhere for anyone to fetch.

But those who are still not branded, are to be character beheaded soon; no work, no services, no nothing if they don’t agree to give the 666 “Profiler Monster” their Social Security

Number, the spouse’s name, their home address and their blood type. With this information, the profiling machines and their demonic commanders will easily add your neighbor’s names, what they think about you, what could they testify against you, your driver’s licenses, and medical, criminal, and credit records.

But… This is also as close as we can get to

Infinite Intelligence

as we know “It” today.

Intelligence means: To know. All “I” know is already in the Internet. Who is “I”? “I” intends to exemplify a “person”. A person equals an entity (sometimes).“i” equals “I”

and “I” equals “I Am”. “I Am is the Verb”. “A verb denotes action”.

“All was done by The Verb”.

“And The Verb shall have no end.”

Just like energy as we know it, the Verb has no end.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed.

“The Verb”

must be an energy form of spiritual existence.

Just caused to happen by the sum of all happenings on the universe.

“He” could not help but to suddenly exist. Now “He” is Master of all. The Force of all Action.

Action was described first by guttural (prehistoric sounds) verbs or gestures, then by code (read; Hieroglyphics) and then by words, finally in radio, then film and television

(before internet multimedia).

Now we have Interactive DVD Bibles and Encyclopedias

with full audio, video, and hyper linked indexes.

Check the prophecies calendar of events.

The Day When “All” (I mean all) Shall Be Written has arrived.

The Distributed Word Is Already Published For All To See.

Those who don’t want to see the light will stay in darkness.

Those now in darkness can see the light again.

I don’t know for how long, Andromeda Galaxy is crashing right now with another galaxy and the resultant collision course will be towards our Milky Way.

(See Space.com photos)

In God I Trust, God, help me now to see the light again.

If not, I’m done. Of me alone I am nothing but dust.

Of course this dust is stardust or silica, the most expensive matter to recreate in a scientific lab, but nonetheless it is still dust compared with the glorious properties and attributes of a

pure energy spiritual being.

Computers

have helped humanity to better understand the many miracles of this

Magnificent Creational Evolution

Of This Constant Universe

Einstein had a hunch that it was possible to write a

Theory of The Everything

But his ram-memory was not big enough to fully compile the idea in a single file, the requirement to materialize miracles.

A Computer Will Be Able To Do That One Day.

Things And Doings

The Unseen Force.

None of our greatest artists can compare their works to the glory and art of a godly presentation of a pastel colored sunrise or sunset, a day’s Alpha and Omega.

It would take mixing 64 million colors for an artist to manually paint just one brush stroke compared to a glorious flash of light passing through a prism while a computer is always set to present that resolution.

The human being is like a stand-alone client computer.

There are Mac’s and IBM compatibles

but they all are built to do related work.

A computer’s job is to compile data into great works.

Infinite Intelligence is still the principal data provider.

This is why I am still using computers.

The Profiler must get his data from Infinite Intelligence’s Creational Evolution Historic Database. Read Job’s story and see why the profiler needs to know about people and how those demonic powers even enter the “Presence” and communicate with Infinite Intelligence.

The Universal Collection of Big Books say this will keep happening until the “positive” finally gets fed-up enough to unplug the power out of the “negative”. Maybe He got fed-up already and is just waiting for the proper time. Is it the negative that takes power from positive or the inverse it true? I don’t know. Cosmic Paradox is not my favorite hobby.

How can all these crazy sounding assertions be proven in plain old Math 101? Some can be explained and some cannot.

I am still having trouble trying to compute the incomputable with a limited mental machine like mine.

Computing the incomputable? Wow! How about networking with the Creator via an old wireless communications method named telepathy (prayer)? Some people say this can be done. I tried this method and let me tell you, it worked out fine for me. Is it free to try a demo the many possibilities of mental visualizations and idea presentations to the Powers of Creation? Yes it is free. Visualize, pray, communicate, enjoy.

Remove from your body and mind all that is not working towards the accomplishments of your goals. Clean the mental environment. Focus, concentrate, believe “it” is not only possible but visualize “it” as already done and working (whatever it is you want), and use the constant repetition method most music composers, writers, and poets, must also use to finish a song, book, or poem that was never before in their minds, but that some day will remain forever in print.

In other words;

MAKE IT POSSIBLE.

START RIGHT NOW… WHY WAIT??

Take this data and think about relative potentials in our minds.

The computer browser software program and the monitor can be compared to our conscious mind visualization modules, where everything is presented in a type of mental visual interface that contains, in a hidden background, the complete running compilation of copies of scanned data recorded in the permanent memory sections of our brain. The RAM modules temporarily “memorize” the presentation of data collected from all over the brain areas plus establish a “place” to run all applications at the same time, until it flushes data by the forward push of new processes. The brain is like an archive. Memories are captured by our sensory systems, then the most important information is recorded all over the brain mass in data bits meaning pieces of information with bio-codes resembling alphanumeric continuity “addresses that will help the searching virtues of the ram-mind (conscious) to assemble that data into “pre-views” usable to visualize the memory in the front line memory system almost I real time. When you need to “see” or “study” or “visualize” an “idea” you just order the RAM-MIND to compile an understandable data file out of the zillions of “loose” data bits stored in permanent memory and to “display” what was found so you can “visualize” the “idea”. Front Line “idea visualizations” are compiled data bits copies from the original. The conscious must quickly compile and present only a copy of all the data bits found in resident memory because at the time of rest, sleep, drugs, or sex, the RAM “quits” or enters an idle mode for an unspecified amount of time (oceanic displacements of body and mind), relaxes, flushes out all data, and refreshes its interface program to come back with more data presentations for us to use continually for as long as we live. That “voice” or “video” needs not to be “externally” audible (perceived as to come from the outside) (sometimes it is) (sometimes we think it is) but rather what we usually need to “receive” is a clear idea, an inner visualization, a panoramic vision, a complete realization, an unspoken apprehension, vague feelings, or a low volume “feed” of internal un-amplified multimedia to make good use of our available data. If you still get no answer from “above”, then your Direct Front Line Memory (RAM) is probably full and needs to be flushed either by rest, sleep, sex, drugs or entertainment.

People like bungee cords and roller coasters because they provide strong enough emotions to brute force the conscious to let go, release, flush and refresh actual presentations of flashbacks, unwanted visualizations, bad memories, and even persistent guilt feelings. Of course the conscious can be fooled by strong emotions. Any normal mind will release unneeded data presentations into the conscious at the mere thought of falling from a speedy roller coaster or from a perceived as faulty bungee cord. Watching a peaceful sunset or the dance of dolphins on the beach will produce similar results. Can’t stop your RAM yet? Try parachuting. Never fails.

Think you will be scared, and you probably will if you try hard enough. Even chills can be felt if conditions are favorable. This is the main attractive of horror movies. Get scared and RAM most probably will flush because it will think we need to process emergency fight or flee maneuvers while the automatic body systems start to produce adrenaline and other things the body needs to coagulate any hemorrhage produced by the perceived dangerous monster situation or creature.

WARNING!

Overconfidence can kill… If it is too much of a RAM flush…

RAM can be flushed with less savage methods.

I have tried the reverse of feeling scared with varying results.

Don’t try to swim across the Niagara Falls yet.

Extremes are dangerous at both sides of the story.

A balanced mind is our goal. Let’s not get too carried away.

Center-think all the way unless you agree to explore.

Exploration brings the same results (and emotions) as gambling. We must be in the right conditions to explore before any exploration starts and this alone takes quite a bit of research, equipment, desire, and financial planning.

The only reason extreme sports and violent entertainment attraction rides exist is to force the mind to release unwanted thinking for a while.

The strange part is that very few people can accurately explain why they go up in such rides. Most people seek for those violent experiences “unconsciously” and that proves that we know the answers to most of our problems internally. We just need to ask our “internal servants” and they can “tell” us if to go or not to go swimming with alligators (don’t do it, this is only an example), in a most sophisticated and marvelous way.

Too many different things in Front Line Memory at the same time can get me dizzy, confused, disoriented, and I could even be mis-diagnosed as having a sugar low syndrome or as in a strong need for a quick “fix” with alcohol, drug, sex, which could be wrong (not always).

There is no need for negligence or unwillingness to do research work in modern mental uses and discoveries. The problem with these kinds of wrong perceptions of reality is that misdiagnoses obviously can occur. For example, an alcoholic might present a spell resembling an epileptic attack, a type of short circuit in the mind due to the ethanol (drinking) alcohol washing off some nerve’s “electric” insulation coverings. A too fast diagnosis that brings the healing arts specialist to believe the patient has an epileptic attack and injects the wrong drugs can cause severe unexpected reactions besides leaving the real situation untreated. While alcohol, drugs and unregulated sex do help to flush the front-end memory (the conscious) for at least a few hours by anesthetization of the mind (chemically induced relaxation), at the same time, alcohol and drugs are also believed to kill brain cells in the process.

Damage to the liver, kidney and pancreas has been reported after alcohol or drugs use or abuse. Moses found out that wine could get him drunk. Jesus made wine at a wedding party. Louis Pasteur wrote that wine is a healthy additive to dinner. Winflyer used to think dinner was a healthy additive to wine; Solomon wrote that wine should be left for those who suffer, so that they might find happiness from the fantasy of the wine spirits.

The Judicial System say that driving after taking alcohol impairs judgments and may cause a driver to forget safety training, rules, laws, and regulations.

At least all the above bring cues that the mind can be “told” to shut up at least for a while. But what part of the “mind” is the one that “talks” to us? The conscious, the Direct Front Line Memory (RAM) is the presenter, or “browser”, comparing it to a computer system, and its “programs” are embedded in “firmware” contained all over the gene pool, brain mass, and God knows where else. I am talking now about a most powerful “assistant” we have. The conscious can be very useful but painfully abusive if left unbridled. Thanks God brain RAM is only temporary memory because it would be a real pain in the head to have that power “online” all time. It would eventually fill up and crash our brains (sometimes it does) if not forced to release excessive data. Maybe this is what happens during a temporary mental breakdown.

Check out this often happening routine: A person tries to retain in Front Line Memory as much data as possible to be able to better process something unprocurable or hard to figure out. Front Line memory fills up fast. The mind crashes. The person starts to act crazy and either goes to a doctor or is forced to go. Drugs are administered and the mind relaxes, flushes out excessive data and the patient returns to this living hell for more of the same.

There is a type of command for the Front Line Memory to behave called the

Prayer of Acceptance

It goes like this:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”. Amen.

(St. Francis of Asis)

Imagine having to allow our front end mind to bring all kinds of not asked for memories, flashbacks, appointments, plans, schedules, goals, up to a level of chaotic insanity and finally forcing us to manually flush RAM every five minutes. Having to use constant alcohol, sex, drugs and entertainment (forget sleep and rest, who can sleep in total turmoil?) leave us no time to work and pay for all those expensive refresh items. I wonder if those conditions ever cause homelessness and family destructions.

Maybe by forcing the RAM to relax and flush offending data we could feel better and think properly again. Maybe by training our front line memory systems we avoid having to cope with unbridled mental experiences.

How to train our mind?

It takes quite a long time but it is possible and done everyday at jails, mental institutions,

in churches and at home.

Take your choice of place and time.

I am so forgetful that if I stop going to recovery or social training sessions, like going to my friends’ homes, attending church, community service activities, or to the famous http://google.com Internet search engine, my front line memory systems return to the previous condition no matter what it was before.

People don’t change, people become and becoming takes a miracle.

Remember:

“What we learn cannot be unlearned”.

We just must find new ways to do our things, if those things don’t work as expected..

That is the only thing I can do by now.

Aviation pilots are required to have written proof that they have practiced five takeoffs and landings at daytime and five takeoffs and landings at nighttime in the airplane they intend to fly next, during the last thirty days, even if they have already flown for years in other kinds of airplanes.

Musicians are required to rehearse before a concert even if they have played the same song for years.

I happen to be both, a pilot and a musician.

As a pilot, the front end memory (conscious) is the one that tells me how to land, when to pull the gas out, bring more gas again, pull the plane up, keep the plane going down at a steady rate, while processing all kind of rapidly evolving data about the wind direction, runway length, and hundreds of variables running in real time, plus measuring available distance from that giant jumbo down ahead reaching the runway first. This is not the place or time for too many flashbacks about last fight with wife or bill collectors shutting down my home electricity.

The grand piano jazz/fusion concert stage is neither the place for flashbacks especially during those 2,000 notes per minute solo improvisations. But they still show sometimes, would you believe? I do happen to have a Front Line Memory that sometimes drives me crazy. But I have learned how to better deal with it by regularly flushing my ram-memory system and making peace with myself. I feel that brings me closer to God in a much better attitude and harmony of mind, body, and spirit (impulses, desires).

Happiness is the feeling we get when we do something right.

About permanent memory now…

Mental Hard Drives (Read: brain base and cortex sections) reside in your upper coconut resembling a guish shitty mass. There is where most “permanent” memory bits are recorded or burned in, by a chemical reaction to sensory system impulses. Brain RAM scans into all that mass looking for all bits of information related to the query by a process initiated by voluntary brute forced muscular action and reaction. I still do not know what part of the brain initiates that brute force search as yet. Maybe we “flex” some muscles and those muscles then “squish” some modules that secrete or extract instructions (code) to scan and find, then copy, brain data related to a keyword or idea. “Carriers” with “copies” of permanent memory data bits then “flow” in our electrolytic liquids like data flows inside a network cable. This is all theoretical bullshit, of course. There is a whole lot to be learned from our mind. Psychiatry is not an exact science. Neurology is better fit.

It might be RAM itself, a part of it that’s hardwired with a basic operating system of sorts. It might be some other thing not discovered yet by this writer. In computers, a RAM stick has many separate compartments for storing different shit. Maybe that is the way our brain is built. Maybe that is why they built RAM sticks the way they are; a copy of our conscious papaya. One thing I know, RAM must be many many times faster than the permanent memory devices, otherwise RAM would get clogged by faster answers than questions. Maybe this is what causes insanity. Maybe I should change this subject. It’s getting me nervous. Normal dudes, like presidents of nations or aviation pilots or jazz/fusion musicians and composers, writers, poets and fishermen retain most virtues of mentality until they get sick, someone blows up their head or they get fucked up by age.

My cerebral mass is slowly drying up like a rotten mango… since the day I was born.

(Doesn’t that happens to all of us?)

My conscious systems sometimes don’t answer me anymore except when in danger or during times to help others …

I am still looking for answers, just like everyone in the world. That is what this book is all about. I am sharing with you my trips to the unknown, so you don’t feel so lonely.

I strongly believe that the day we find all the answers, someone will fill the calendar with more questions.

What can I do then? For starters, I must do what the doctor told me. He told me to let go of all I have in the world, let go of my boat (I doubt it), not to do anymore research into the world of the wireless communication systems or multimedia content creation and start a mixed vegetables garden in the backyard of my house. This is what I should do medically speaking.

Now… this is what I will do first…

I will keep my boat, of course, continue to write about what I experience during the time I have left in this slot of time and space of my constant universe and will increase my dedication to the Internet Arts. This is also what this book is all about.

Of course, and only as second priority I also must take time to water my own mixed vegetables garden I am growing in the back of my head. After all, if I think it is real, then it must be. This way I please all and please myself at the same time.

Now… that is balance (at least in my head.).

Cool cats define balance in the head as mental health, peace of mind and a happy mental status (if I fish something big) (if not, I get into a tantrum the size of the mother of all mothers.).

When did my system start to age?

The day I was born I started to get older and older as each new second of the clock ticked away youth from me.

A new day arrived at the window of the hospital.

That was my first experience with aging gracefully.

I’m glad they took me took me out of that fucking cold place, brrrrr… They should have warmer floors at hospitals for hot babies like me. Cold floors are better for those who prefer to sterilize the air by chilling it instead of by filtering and saving energy in the first place.

I still remember having to grab those nurse’s tits so I could feel warm. She was pretty too. After a while, it all went routine, or so I believed. I cried and tits came to me. Cool.

I just don’t know when or why that routine changed for good. Today I cry and tits go away and hide for a while.

It must be the way to call for service.

Maybe I should learn new ways to do the same things.

I still don’t know why I should “have” to learn new ways to do the same things.

Doing the same things over and over expecting different results is a sign of insanity, they say.

Maybe the whole world could do better for me if I could adjust the volume and expression methods of my requests for attention. I will try that some other day.

I am not too much into sudden changes. They scare me.

The old days were better, I guess. Were they?

Afterwards, I think they took me from the hospital to a farm because I can still remember the sounds of the animals. My video power was not yet properly coordinated enough for me to see a whole lot but I do remember a lot of lights in many colors, even with my eyes closed. Maybe I still had those magic space powers all babies come with and lose after a few years with crazy people around.

Becoming an adult human being sucks.

I know I used to see light and hear sounds even from inside my mother’s womb. It was all blurred in there but also it was so peaceful then. Now I must be on guard all the time.

The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.

Ask any on the Bush’s family, they can tell you.

We must be always ready to launch a pre-emptive attack at anything that moves around us.

It is not Osama bin Ladin who gets me all stressed out and mad today. What stress me out now is all the preparations for homeland safety, privacy right changes, long security lines everywhere and all other things we must remember now that we did not had to remember before.

The damage to our country was not only to those fallen ones we must remember, but also to the millions of the ones that must live day by day with the higher costs of live, national deficit, and affected budgets for health care due to the actions of a few people angry at our democratic freedom, maybe because we stepped in their toes, maybe because they stood in our toes. Damage to our country will continue for as long as we continue to hunt the ghosts of the ones that hate us.

There will always be a hater and a hated…

(winflyer-2005)